Reaction of older children

Make sure that friends and relatives show as much interest in the older child as the new baby. A little special attention will make her feel better.

Photo: Mélanie Vianna

A child of any age can be worried about and jealous of the arrival of a new baby in the family. This is a normal reaction. You can help older children get ready for their new role and reassure them that they’ll always have a big place in your heart.

You can talk to them about the baby several months in advance. Reading them stories on the subject or looking at photos of them when they were born are good ways to familiarize them with the new family reality.

You can also explain that little babies sleep a lot and cry from time to time, and that they won’t be able to play with the baby right away. Also, let them know you’ll be away during the birth, and who will be looking after them during that time.

Even so, your child may behave differently around the time of the baby’s arrival. They may fall back into phases of behaviour they had previously grown out of (e.g., bedwetting, thumb-sucking, asking to be breastfed). These are normal reactions. Don’t scold them, and continue to show your affection.

Your child may need time to bond with the baby. It’s important not to rush them, and to listen to their feelings. If they want, you can give them little chores that make them feel good about helping you. You can tell them that what you’re doing for the baby is the same as what you did for them when they were little. If they want, sing to them and rock them. Tell them you love them as much as ever.