The transition to parenthood
For some, the transition to parenthood starts as soon as they decide to have a child. Others don’t truly feel like parents until they are holding their newborn baby in their arms. Once your new role hits home, you may find yourself grappling with a range of feelings and challenges.
Welcoming a child and making room for them in the family involves big changes. Each family member now has a new identity: mother, father, parent, brother, sister, grandparent. Your relationship with the other people in your family may also change when the child arrives. Give yourself time to regain a sense of stability in your relationships.
At the beginning of your life as a parent, you may feel that your daily routine has been turned upside down. Schedules fly out the window, the house is a mess, and nothing is like it was before. It’s normal, and it’s what most new parents go through. You need to reorganize your day‑to‑day life and get your bearings back. The adjustment period can last anywhere from a few months to a few years, depending on the individual.
Holding your baby in your arms for the first time can be a deeply moving experience. For some parents, it’s “love at first sight.” For others, the bond develops more gradually. Both experiences can feel unsettling.
Step by step, you’ll learn to be a parent. Through time spent with your child and your family, you’ll grow and change in your role. For some people, this process may reveal new sides of themselves they didn’t know existed. You’ll discover your strengths and find your own way of doing things.
To make the transition to your new parental role easier, you can:
- Learn about parenting and its challenges (e.g., by attending prenatal classes or talking to other parents).
- Talk to your partner—share your fears and apprehensions and discuss family matters, such as how to divvy up duties (see Co‑parenting).
- Build your relationship with your child (see The parent‑child relationship).
- Reach out to your support network. Days are very busy with a baby. Many people find it exhausting. You’ll need support from time to time (see Support).
Sometimes parents can go through a difficult time after the arrival of a child. They may feel sadness or irritability, for example (see Depression). This can happen to anyone and in no way reflects on your parenting skills or the love you feel for your child. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t hesitate to seek help right away by asking about the services available at your CLSC.
Other resources
If you are concerned by single parenthood or family recomposition, you can also consult:
Fédération des associations de familles monoparentales et recomposées du Québec, federation that defends the rights and interests of single‑parent and blended families in Québec. Bilingual service is available in Montréal and some regions of Québec
514-729-6666
fafmrq.org (website in French only).
If you are concerned by sexual and gender diversity, you can also consult:
LGBT+ Family Coalition, organization dedicated to the legal and social recognition of sexually and gender diverse families.
famillesLGBT.org/en
Institut pour la santé trans, organization dedicated to improving gender affirming care and services for trans, non-binary, and agender individuals and their families.
santetranshealth.com/en
Interligne, frontline organization providing helpline, intervention, and outreach services to promote the well-being of people affected by sexual diversity and gender plurality.
1-888-505-1010
interligne.co/en