The parent‑child relationship

You can start building your relationship with your baby before your child is even born. For example, attending prenatal and ultrasound appointments and listening to your baby’s heartbeat are ways to make the baby’s upcoming arrival feel more real. Getting the baby’s room ready can help you visualize daily life with your baby.

Once your baby is here, you’ll continue to build your relationship as you attend to their needs. For example, by changing their diaper when they cry, you’ll fulfill their need to be dry. Your relationship will grow deeper with time as you respond to your child’s signals (e.g., crying, sounds, facial expressions) with consistency and affection (see Parent-child relationship).

Copyright: Myriam Bourbeau

Myriam Bourbeau

There are a number of things you can do to help build your relationship with your baby. In the first few weeks, you can practice skin‑to‑skin contact, this will soothe and comfort your baby (see Skin‑to‑skin contact). After, they will continue needing to hear your voice, see your face, and be caressed and cuddled.

Building a relationship

To build a parent‑child relationship, each of you need to get to know your child, and they need to get to know each of you. Find moments for one‑on‑one time with your baby.

Every parent builds their relationship with their child at their own pace. It’s perfectly normal if they don’t do it the same way. The way you are and interact with your child reflects your past experiences and your personality and values.

Some parents find it easy to focus on their child’s needs after the birth. For others, the adjustment can take days or weeks. The fatigue and emotions that come with childbirth will have an effect on how you adapt to the new situation. If you’re having trouble forming an attachment to your child or feeling connected with them, don’t hesitate to talk to a health professional. This happens to other parents too. It has nothing to do with your parenting skills.