Co‑parenting
If you’re solo parenting, surround yourself with people you trust and with whom you can share the joys and challenges of parenthood.
For couples, the birth of a child brings big changes to their relationship. You go from being a couple to being parents. This shared parental relationship is known as “co‑parenting.”
As co‑parents, you share the responsibility for caring for your child and guiding them on their developmental journey. Together, you will also decide how to provide a safe and caring environment for your child.
Co‑parenting isn’t just about sharing responsibilities and tasks. It’s also about recognizing each other’s strengths and the contributions to the child’s life. Each parent can meet the child’s needs and contribute in their own way (e.g., by being more involved in caregiving or developmental support). And each can provide the same care (e.g., feeding), but not necessarily in the same way.
Each parent needs to assume their role and feel respected and valued in the way they care for and raise their child. This helps strengthen their commitment to the child and to their role as a parent.
Talk to your partner about the values and attitudes you consider important in your children’s education. Try to be open, present, and attentive to each other.
Listening to and respecting each other’s opinions can help you adapt to changes and strengthen your relationship as a couple and as co‑parents. It is normal to have a different opinion about certain things. For example, it’s common for one parent to be stricter with the child than the other. Look for common ground when you disagree.
It’s best if both parents apply the same kind of structure and boundaries for their children. When parents enforce rules consistently, children feel more secure.
The arrival of a child can be stressful for a couple and impact communication within the relationship. Fatigue can make it harder to take criticism or questions about you do things. It is normal to experience strong emotions and stress. However, using violence to resolve conflicts is never acceptable (see Domestic violence during pregnancy).
Caring for your relationship
The arrival of a baby and the attention they require can affect the time you have for your partner. You’ll have less opportunity to talk and do things together. At times, you may feel like your childcare and family responsibilities leave no time or space for the two of you.
Don’t hesitate to go out together or spend a day just the two of you from time to time. Keep on sharing activities and making plans. It’s important to find time to enjoy each other’s company despite the demands of everyday life.
And try to make room for couple time and intimacy, even if it’s not always easy in the months after your baby arrives. Give yourself time to adapt how you express your intimacy and sexuality in your new reality (see Sexuality after birth).
Communicating is a good way to take care of your relationship. Talk to each another about your needs, expectations, and emotions in order to maintain a close bond with your partner.
If an obstacle or conflict arises, don’t wait to talk about it. Take time to explain your different perspectives and find solutions together. Good communication habits can help you develop new approaches where each parent feel valued and respected.
Resources
If you need help, you can consult the following resources.
Children now, an organization offering a wide range of services including a telephone help line and professional legal advice. professionnels.
514 593-4303 / 1 800 361-8453
avanttoutlesenfants.ca/fr/home
SOS Violence conjugale, a bilingual telephone service accessible 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
1-800-363-9010 / 438-601-1211 (text)
sosviolenceconjugale.ca/en
See also: Support for parents