Becoming a father
The path to becoming a father starts with the decision to have a child or with the pregnancy, but for many fathers‑to‑be, it doesn’t feel real until the baby is born. In the first few years of your baby’s life, you’ll ease into your new role and figure out what kind of dad you want to be.
Fathers are increasingly present in the lives of their children, but they sometimes underestimate their role. Loving, actively involved fathers contribute to the well‑being of the whole family. Nowadays, this support is valued and recognized both within the family and in society at large.
When you get involved in the day‑to‑day, you assume your role and acquire new skills. You gradually start to feel useful and competent. Many actively involved fathers say they feel a sense of accomplishment and pride.
When you actively engage with your child from birth (e.g., daily care, playtime), you create a bond that will last for years to come. Your child needs you in order to grow and develop. They learn by watching and interacting with you.
Playing an active role in family life also strengthens your relationship with your child. You can do this by making appointments for your child’s health checkups, arranging for childcare, finding clothes and baby items, and so on. It’s important for co‑parents to share responsibilities. You can divvy up tasks based on each person’s activities and interests. Talking it through together will help you figure out what works best for you.
Some fathers find the transition to parenthood difficult. This is normal—it’s a big adjustment. As many as 1 in 10 men may experience depression after the birth of a child. If you have mood swings, feel irritable or aggressive, or are experiencing physical discomfort, talk to your doctor (see Depression).
If you need help, you can consult (in Montreal), RePère, an organization offering an assistance and support program for fathers, at 514-381-3511, or by visiting repere.org (website in French only).