Parent-child relationship
From birth, your baby is trying to connect with you. Their five senses (hearing, sight, touch, taste, and smell) enable them to perceive the world around them (see The five senses: The foundation of development). For example, they like to hear your voice and look at your face.
Your baby expresses needs with signals like crying or moving their arms or legs. For example, crying may mean you baby is hungry or uncomfortable (see Crying). They calm down when you hold them and attend to their needs.
When you feed, bathe, or talk softly to your child while looking them in the eyes, you’re building your relationship. Little by little, you discover the pleasure of being together.
Your baby develops through their relationship with you and the other people who care for them.
Bonding
When you respond to your child’s needs consistently and lovingly, they will develop a trusting relationship with you. This relationship is also known as attachment.
Take the time to observe and get to know your baby. For example, try to tell the difference between when they are hungry or tired. You will learn to understand your child’s needs better through trial and error. When you try to meet your child’s needs, they’ll see that you’re there for them and that they can count on you. They’ll develop a feeling of trust and safety with you.
A newborn baby mostly expresses their needs by crying (see Crying). You won’t risk spoiling them by comforting them promptly. That helps them feel confident and secure.
Newborns do not have the ability to wait for their needs to be met. Starting at 4 months, they gradually learn to wait a few seconds, then a few minutes. If you can’t respond to their needs right away, you can try to reassure them from a distance: “Mommy’s in the bathroom right now. I’ll look after you soon.” Even if your child still cries, hearing your voice will help them tolerate the wait. As they get older, they’ll understand better what you’re saying.
If your child feels confident and safe with you, they will also feel more confident exploring the world around them. They’ll know they can turn to you whenever they need to. Encourage them to explore at their own pace, in keeping with their abilities. Your child needs to explore their environment to grow and develop
Separation anxiety
Beginning at 8 or 9 months, your child may find it hard to be separated from you. This is called separation anxiety. This anxiety is normal: your baby feels safe when you’re there, and they want to stay with you. This reaction will gradually fade by 18 months as they experience numerous positive reunions with you.
When you leave, reassure your baby and tell them you’ll be coming back, even if they don’t fully understand yet. It’s best to leave without drawing out your goodbyes. Your child may react when you leave. That doesn’t mean you should go back to them. The important thing is for your child to feel that you’re confident and not worried about leaving them with someone else. You can leave them with a piece of clothing or a blanket with your scent to help them tolerate your absence.
When you arrange for a babysitter, you can spend some time with your child and the babysitter. This gives your child time to get used to the babysitter and see that you trust the person (see Childcare).
Communication
Your baby started hearing you speak before they were even born. Right from birth, they recognize your voice and enjoy hearing its varied tones. They also watch your face and will soon start picking up on your emotions. They will understand words months before they can say them.
Crying, facial expressions, gestures, arm and leg movements, grimaces, and sounds are the ways your baby communicates. Start by observing and trying to understand them. In response, say out loud what you think they're trying to tell you (e.g., “Oh! You’re hungry!”). Give them time to react to your words, then speak again. Communication is like a tennis game where each person takes turns hitting the ball back and forth. It’s important for your child to have a place in the conversation, regardless of how they express themselves (see Language development).
It’s best to speak to your child in your native language or the one you’re most comfortable with. This makes communication more natural and gives your child a strong language model.
First words
Your child will gradually transition from making sounds to using words. All children progress at their own pace. It’s important not to put pressure your child, for example by asking them to say a word. Instead, celebrate their efforts and take an interest in what they’re communicating, no matter how they’re doing it (e.g., through gestures or sounds).
It’s normal that you and those around you don’t always understand what your child says. They’re not yet able to pronounce words like an adult. You can repeat the word you think you heard, pronouncing it clearly. Don’t ask them to repeat themselves, as this could discourage them from using their words.
If you have any questions or concerns about your child’s language development, don’t hesitate to consult a health professional (see Have questions?).